The ultimate rebel

When I sit and think of what I thought it meant to be a bad a$$ in my twenties, is awfully horrid to me now. Cursing in public, being an utter terror, listening to music that it really would not be appropriate for anyone’s children to listen to, lying, stealing, sleeping around, going to bars and making a fool of myself… WOW what immensely childish and irresponsible behavior. In retrospect I think, by doing what i thought was rebellious, I was just doing what EVERYONE else was doing. Which of course was the wrong thing. A life full of worthlessness, built upon an sandy house of lies, that lay too close to the beach and is being washed away.

The Lord revealed to me that the true rebel, in my eyes, is the Christian. You want to upset some people? Pray for them in Jesus name. Wanna really make them uncomfortable? Do it in public! And to ultimately mortify them? do it loud enough so that other people can hear it. I mean no one wants the bible thumping Christian around. As much as they are preaching love and acceptance we really don’t want to hear anything they have to say about their Testimony or anything else.

But in becoming a believer, I sold out, I became a rebel. I should be praying and dancing and worshiping him all day every day. Regardless of my circumstances my true and ultimate job here is to tell people about Jesus and his love. To share my testimony about my life and how I have changed because of his love and sacrifice for me. I am to share with people about the miracles I have seen, how he brought my husband back from the dead, How my son was thought to have been miscarried but is alive and thriving, how I have seen him heal the sick and make tumors and lumps and bumps and diseases disappear. So essentially being a Christian is intrinsic with being a rebel. How rad is that?

Matthew 10:22
You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

John 15: 18-19

18"If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. 19"If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.…

SO be a rebel, 

for Christ, 

he appreciates that effort.

Little Servant Doni

Broken Glass

Broken Glass

Looking through my broken glass

Broken pieces of a broken past

My hearts been broken even though it was cast

Watching life go by way too fast

Through that broken glass

Light can shine through

Your heart is in pieces, your heart is blue

It’s hard to remember that the Lord loves you

When your broken glass makes your vision askew

Oh that broken glass

Dear Lord shine your light

Shine it on me, no matter how I fight

I know your love is pure love, so bright

Please take my broken glass and make it right

Broken glass

A mirror, maybe a vase

Something beautiful, Lord let me see your face

Just make me something, Lord shower me with your grace

My broken glass, gone without a trace

You can take this something and make it all ok

Renewed broken glass, a mess, just gone away

You have taken something, that had gone astray

And you shined your light, and showed me YOUR way

Little Servant Doni ~ 2013

So, I wrote this this morning and sent it to my hubby who then tells me that it is an awesome interpretation of a bible verse. Funny thing is I dont even remember reading this verse. I knew God was about to move. SO heres the verse in two interpretations;

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NIV)  

¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

The Message (MSG)

¹² We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

One day my friends the meaning and mystery of this life will be shown to us. The reflection we see will be ourselves but radiating in God's glory. We are all broken, we have all sinned, we have all made mistakes that makes us feel like we are not worthy of God's love. The beauty of Jesus is this, YOU AREN"T WORTHY, but you get his love ANYWAY! Just like a parent, his love is unconditional, and no matter how bad we are we are still able to recieve the gift of everlasting life. Just ask him. Pray for it! He will renew your spirit and redirect your life. He will hold your hand when your hand is unholdable, and he will fill you with love and shower you with grace. Try it. My life is proof that Christ's love DEMANDS change, not because he makes you change, because you love him so much you want to change.

Each of us is a mess, a beautifully orchestrated mess. Created by HIM, creator of all things, and each of us in turn are displayed as beautiful pieces of art to reflect the beauty of God. You know how art is. Some people like it, some people don't. Some people only see the good some the bad. But No matter where I am in life, happiness or struggle, If I open my eyes and focus on his face, He lifts me up and I can walk on water again.

I AM struggling, but its ok, because he has met me. right where I am, and will continue with me until the end of my days.

I hope you take the time out to pray for me, because I am praying for you and your families, and all of our spirits and souls.

<3 Little Servant Doni

 

Lent isn't just for catholics?!?!?

I really didn't know that other denominations celebrated lent! I am pretty sheltered in some ways. So this year some of you know I have joined the ministry SDI (The Sacred Dance Institute) and we have to fast for the next 97 days. Yup you heard me right, 40 days for the Father, 7 days for Jesus Christ, and 50 days for the Holy Spirit. When this assignment was placed on me I had no clue where to start or what to do or what I was even doing it for. So lets talk a little about Lent.

What is Lent? In layman's terms I will describe Lent as a preparation of the believer through prayer, penance, repentance, alms giving, and SELF- DENIAL. The goal is to get closer to God through this experience, to be enlightened to his word and his spirit, and to pay homage to God/Jesus and all that he sacrificed for us. When you think of everything that God/Jesus has done for you is it really such a chore to give up something you love (that is typically something that is BAD for you) for a few months? At first I thought " oh gosh what will I have to deprive myself of?". But now I think of it as something positive. It is an honor and a privileged to be able to honor my God through sacrifice, and is it really awful to give up BAD things that are not really getting you anything but pleasure to your flesh?

So what am I giving up for lent? Cupcakes are number one. I love them, but come on, that is a fleshly pleasure that makes me fat. Shopping (i.e. makeup clothes shoes etc). I have more then enough of all of these things and just because I like new things doesn't mean that I HAVE to have them when I have more then enough of these things in my home ( I have kept my $10 glam bag subscription though ladies so at least ill get makeup once a month! Praise God for that). Eating out. we all know that I am a food junkie and it costs a lot of money to eat out, my goal is to make healthy meals at home and if I am craving something from a restaurant I will just try and recreate it in a HEALTHY way at my home. So that's where I am starting, I am open to God's will and wisdom and if he tells me to give up something else, I will do it.

What am I praying to gain from all of this? Enlightenment, closeness to God, I hope to open myself up so that I can flow in the Holy Spirit more frequently and easily, I hope to get a healthier body which will hopefully make for a healthier pregnancy and strengthen me as a dancer, and to find myself in Christ's body as a whole. Please pray for m that I can experience learn and achieve these things.

Today's Lenten Scripture for me comes from Isaiah 58. Read it and follow me on my journey!

God Bless you and give you Peace,
Little Servant Doni

So let us come boldly before the throne of our Gracious God, There we will find grace and mercy for when we need it the most... Hebrews 4:16

I have no clue where I am even going with this post so please bear with me. I just have so much on my heart and so much to share.

So let us come boldly before the throne of our Gracious God, There we will find grace and mercy for when we need it the most... Hebrews 4:16 - This is my memory verse for my dance ministry this month and also KLOVE's word of the day online! If you know me you know my dance ministry and KLOVE are huge parts of my life now and it was fitting for them both to reap the same word from God. LET US COME BOLDLY, not timidly, not let us come meekly or mildly, but BOLDLY to the throne of our GRACIOUS GOD. I have been trying to take this straight to my heart. In prayer I come forth boldly, in my dance ministry I am trying to let the spirit work through me so that I can share my testimony boldly, and in life I am attempting to live my life in a way that boldly shares the good news! In no way am I perfect but the fact that I can go straight to the source, God the Father, and plead my case as well as the cases of my friends and family and the lost is an amazing blessing. To think that my little prayer is that important to HIM has made such a difference even in the way I feel about myself and my life. I am discovering even in this simple verse, that I have a purpose and that God has all the mercy and grace that I will ever need even if it seems I have failed.

For those of you that don't know I recently joined SDI, The Sacred Dance Institute, which is a ministry that specializes in liturgical dance. What is liturgical dance? "Liturgical dance is a type of dance movement sometimes incorporated into liturgies or worship services as an expression of worship: the dancers will respond with an appropriate dance which flows out of the music and is thought to enhance the prayer or worship experience. This dance may either be spontaneous, or have been choreographed ahead of time. If it is choreographed it is generally fitted to the song's lyrics or to religious concepts." So basically we are dancing for Jesus. Each performance in SDI is called a "Ministry Opportunity" which to me really puts into perspective what we are doing. Its not just worldly movement, its movement with the intention to worship, movement with the intention of drawing people in and making them ask questions about Jesus. Isn't that amazing? I feel so blessed to be apart of it. Even in the month I am growing , learning, and seeing things that were not so clear to me before. The support from this LARGE group of women has allowed me to blossom in my Christianity and realize that I am different and what I have to say and add to any given situation is valid, life changing and worthwhile.

I have lately seen some friends who are going through different challenges in their lives. For some it seems like the end of the road, for some their self esteem and worth are down the tubes, for some they are barely holding on. I THOUGHT I HAD PROBLEMS. I have spent the last few months wallowing in a self pity. I don't have a career, I don't have any college degrees, I don't have many friends since I have been saved etc etc etc. Within the last month I have began to focus on what I do have. A loving Savior, and amazing husband, I am a loving mother, I am fun, I am bright and funny, I am loving! Who cares what I don't have? And even if I do not have them now, It definitely does not mean I cannot get them in the future. I am making more friends, reconnecting with old friends, and just trying to live a life full of joy and purpose. My point to all of this is, If you are going through something, I know its hard! I know it can feel like the end of the world. I know some of us feel like we are not good enough and will never get ahead... BUT You are special. There is no one like you! God loves you and has put things in you that will not manifest in any other way but through you. Focus on the positives of your life. FOCUS ON GOD. He will give you everything you need. And his perfect love will add positivity to your life. It will add joy and mercy and forgiveness and change and LOVE. So with that being said. Go boldly, Ask him for help, ask him to change your situation, ask him to change your heart, change your mind and invade your spirit. If you give your life to him you then allow him to live in you. Bad things happen, no one promised bad things would not happen, but you have the opportunity to control your outlook and share your testimony with others. When you share your story and your conquering of hardships it allows others, believers or not, and lets them know YOU CAN MAKE IT!

Be blessed and go forth BOLDLY.
Little Servant Doni

a time to be private, and a time to tell the truth.

The truth is this world is still full of miracles. My baby is living proof that God is alive, real and moving in my life today. Even through this time, I'm in and out of the hospital, I have been in fear of losing my baby, but God has not left me or forsaken me. I wanted to keep this to myself and "suffer" in private but my hope is that my story will give someone hope. I have faith and that's all I have. People can say where is God in this or that but I know in my heart that he is right there with me keeping me sane and not letting me give up. So if you take anything from this. HAVE FAITH! it can and will change your life.

"Let us go boldly before the throne of our gracious God. There we will find mercy, and grace for when we need it the most" Hebrews 4:16. That is my memorization verse for the month. and I take it straight to heart.

We need to go boldly before God, and he will give us every single thing we need, including mercy and grace. Even when we think all is lost there's always a little light to remind you that everything good is worth fighting for. Never give up. Never lose hope. And never lose sight of what you truly love.